Why I should be a guest on Ellen...

So I watched this YouTube clip today of Taylor Swift being scared on Ellen and it made me think... I would be the best guest on Ellen... I have the best terrified reactions! Examples:

Incident #1
Once upon a time, when I was working at a snocone shack called Snoasis, my friend Jesse came to visit me... So I'm sitting in this little hut, jamming to the radio and reading Gossip Girl (yes they were books before they were a TV show!) And I knew Jesse was coming... infect I'm thinking to myself "Jesse should be here soon!" and I look up and there's Jesse... just standing there... and I look down again and then I look up again and I fully realize he's there and I Scream bloody murder... Seriously...

Incident #2
That is not even close to the only time I've been scared by someone I already knew was there...

Incident #3
My family and I went to "Fright-mares" At Lagoon in Utah... and my mom made a point of telling the dudes with chainsaws in the least scary haunted house that I am a pansy and they followed me around the whole time.... I was terrified and everyone else was dying of laughter...

Incident #4
I went to a hunted house with some friends, there were four of us... I held on to my friend Garet's jacket for dear life... I'd be surprised if it didn't fall apart when he got home... and made my friend Cameron stand behind me so I wouldn't be the last one... in the end we were in a WWII themed grain-cylo in which zombies push at you on both sides and I'm running to get through and I trip over something and totally destroyed my knees... seriously though... I have nerve damage. Although that might have more to do with the 5-yes F-I-V-E times I fell on that one knee last winter... it is LITERALLY still numb... it's been a year...

There are a few other incidents I could innumerate but I think we all get the point... I'm a big-scardy-cat and Ellen should have me on her show for a few laughs... and about a million YouTube hits...

Mix-tape Friday!

Seven songs I'm currently obsessed with and how they relate to my love life.

1. White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane. Regularly I’ll tell myself that God has kept me from dating etc. because he’s protecting me from a lust I wouldn’t be able to control… It’s also possible that as Ke$ha once wisely said… Love would be my drug… and this is how I would act...

2. The Dummy Song by Louis Armstrong. This song just gave me some really good ideas about how to make a boyfriend!

3. Paper Doll by John Mayer. Ok well really it's this music video...

4. Put Your Graffiti on Me by Kay Graham. Yes… I want someone to put their Graffiti on me… plus this beat is sick!

5.  The One That Got Away by The Civil Wars. So this one is more about how I wish there was one to get away... Then I could sing this song with real feelings instead of the ones I pretend are there between myself and Ian Sommerhaulder... WHAT WE HAVE IS REAL!

6. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot… this one isn’t so much a current obsession as it is a constant obsession…

7. Rumor Has It by Adele. I love this song… and every time I see an attractive man with another woman I think “She ain’t real, she ain’t gonna be able to love you like I will…” etc… I mean come one peeps, some times people say when you’re a big girl theres “more to love” well I say I have a much greater capacity to love because there’s lots of room in my Rubenesque figure to hold love!

So there you have it… If you have a chance, check out these songs… maybe they’ll resinate with your love life… nonexistent or real, they can fit any one’s life...

Boy talk

Last night I hung out with boys... It was fascinating!

Monday Night is Family night and when you are single your family is other single people your age so I went to have family night with a bunch of other single people here in Gillette. We played a game where you were given a verb and an adverb (two words who's meaning I have forgotten since 9th grade so I relearned them last night) and we had to act them out for someone to guess... The result was pretty entertaining:

We had someone lift weights musically

Another friend of mine played Quidditch womanly (so good is another way to say that...)

Ethan washed dishes in a manly way

One guy had to flirty softly... I got hit on... For the first time in my life! He asked me what kind of fabric his sweatshirt was, when I didn't know he informed me that it was boyfriend material... Hahaha

I did laundry in a nerdy way (it was probably the hit of the night... I pushed up my glasses, which I do any way, I talked about loving biology, which anyone who saw my report card from last semester knows means I'm an excellent actor...) 

My personal favorite was the guy who was a little too enthusiastic about his charge to slay a dragon offensively... He grabbed a broom and went at a bush like it had burned down his thatched-roof cottage with his mother inside... ( yes I say mother and not wife and children because he seems like the type of guy who would be more upset about loosing his mother than the woman who birthed his children... Bates motel anyone?!)

So after we had a little too much fun enacting my ninth grade worksheets and ate cake a majority of the people left and there was just a few of us left, some of my closer friends... All guys, me and all guys (my favorite type of party)

There were fart jokes, girl talk... Who's hot and who's not... I was mentioned on more than one occasion as being like a sister... Which while being a mutual feeling and there for not too hard to hear, is still one of those things that when you hear it you're like "typical..." 

We ended up talking about how great Tuck Everlasting is... Don't lie you know you love it!! 

In conclusion I LOVE hanging out with guys they are so much easier to be around than girls some times... Why? Because they can talk about nothing for hours... Girls need meaningful conversation... Blech!

So thank you boys for being boys... Ps, please date me ( not the guys from last night but just som men... Preferably a tall man... With dark hair... Not that I'm picky.)