Part deux

Well I hope you enjoyed last time's installment of what will hopefully one day make me enough money to feed my addiction... which brings me to my next point...

Part 2:

       As I mentioned before there’s no definitive answer to the question, how much is too much? However despite the lack of medical journal entries on the subject there have always been those who believe they have the answer. My father, Cheryl, friends, my grandma, and crazy people who remove all the televisions from their home are just a few on the list. Some might say it’s an issue once you’ve bought the DVD’s. Others might have misgivings with the fact that I have at any given moment about 5-tv shows I need to catch up on in my Hulu queue. There is a whole series of Pinterest “gifs” devoted to the ever becoming popular art of “Netflix Binging.” The idea is that in one weekend one person, or a particularly coomfortable couple, may devour an ENTIRE television series. I do not use the term art form lightly, there are things to be considered; food, bathroom breaks, hydration, these things along with location (bedroom, living room) must be considered when contemplating a weekend stay in Downton Abbey, or perhaps Stars Hollow, or maybe stuck on an island with 48 other strangers on Lost.

Let’s go back to my Hulu queue for a second, at this very moment I have 4-television shows awaiting my attention, I’m 4-episodes behind on one, 2-behind on another, and only one behind on the other two. This is not including the 3-television shows I watched this morning before going to work. It’s not like I sit in my bed just watching, I usually use that time to be productive, getting ready in the morning, cleaning out my closet (Something that can probably be done daily). And let’s not get into my Netflix Queue. There are so many options for television these days, there’s Hulu ($7/month) Netflix ($7/ month) Amazon Prime ($35/year for students) iTunes ($2.99/episode) and Cable/ Satellite subscriptions ($20-$100/month) that’s at least $270+/year. Too much yet?

The beginning...

Friends it has been much too long! I've been letting myself get so sidetracked with everything else going on in my life and I've hardly had anytime to think about why I'm not dating... which I suppose is a good thing? But it's taken a toll on this old girl, So it's time to get back on the saddle, it's like riding a bike I hear!

I'll start by introducing a new segment... I wrote an op-ed piece for my government class... he left the topic up to us and I ended up deciding to write what  I know... so rather than force you to read it all at once, I'll keep it short and sweet and give it to you in pieces for the next couple of days... let me brag for a second though, after reading my paper he compared me to a famous essayist he's currently reading and told me my paper was publishable, so at the risk of getting a big head... here goes...

Part one:

                                                     

                              Why do I love TV so damn much?!

            I may have just wasted 4 straight hours watching 30Rock on Netflix, or maybe I was catching up on my Hulu queue, either way the one thing I was NOT doing was picking a topic for this paper. Once I realized my main distraction could itself be my topic it was all down hill from there.

Type “Television Addiction” into Google and you’ll discover that 1. It is not a diagnosable condition of the DSM-IV 2. 60%-70% of Americans believe it is addicting and 3. Researchers have yet to define the difference between “normal” and “problem” television viewing. (So take that, Dad!) Despite the lack of research and studies to produce any sort of statistics on the subject I have been told on multiple occasions by at least five people that I’m probably addicted to television. So why, what is it about television that I love so DAMN much?! This question is one I intend to answer. To what end, one might ask? Well, presumably to make someone laugh, and to justify the countless hours a week spent on my laptop.

            Let’s start with the simple questions: who, what, when, and where? Who: Me, and almost every non-Amish human. What: Television in all it’s varying conditions: drama, comedy, reality, noir, fantasy, science fiction, current events, cartoon, competition, etc. The list is never ending; everyday hundreds of television ideas are being thought of, pitched, purchased, piloted, fan-girled, and canceled. When: Fall-Spring and Spring-Summer, oh, and thanks to Netflix and DVD Boxed-sets, everyday! Where: Well it started on the living room floor, the whole family surrounding the television but has since progressed to anywhere you’re laptop, iPad, or Internet enabled phone can travel and/or catch a Wi-Fi signal.

I have this plan...

So I'm looking into moving to Utah at the end of the summer (no solid plans yet so stop jumping up and down Utah friends) But I've been thinking about when I do move, how am I going to put myself out there, socially and date-ily... anyway, I came up with a plan:

So the first day of church I'm going to find the hottest group of guys, introduce myself and ask "ok boys, what are we don't tomorrow night?!" and we'll all decide to meet at the Tavernacle (where one of them work) Once they decide I'm awesome (which should take about 15 minutes) I'll say "ok gentlemen, I'm in your bro-zone, am I right?!" and they'll agree. Then I'll say "I'm pretty good at putting myself in the bro-zone boys, but I have a lot of hot friends... So here's my plan, the five of us (there are four boys: Jake, Travis, Cade, and Mitch) will be best friends, I'll come over all the time and vice-versa and I'm going to introduce you guys to all my hot friends... I just need you guys to do the same for me but helpme stay out of all their bro-zones... Deal?" and they will all be super excited about that, and boom! I'm the most popular girl in SLC... 

It's my personal opinion that this plan is flawless, if you have any suggestions, however, I'm open to alteration. 

Let me know what you think! 

Sincerely,

The future coolest chick in SLC