Dear Daughter,You aren't born yet, in fact, as this blog testifies, You are not even kind of possibly in my stomach... I haven't kissed a boy yet, and as that is the beginning to you being born, it's going to take a while, so suck it up and wait a while... I know, the VMA's have made you super excited to be alive... that's all that Miley is about, being excited she's alive!! And yes, that's how I want you to be, excited for life!
Daughter (who's name may or may not be flip-flop dinglehopper, depending whether or not I'm famous) As by now you know (since I have been reading this blog to you nightly as your bedtime story) I am very fond of lists, so I have decided to make you a list of ways that you can love life as much as Miley.- Start off with a rich dad, I'm working on this one for you... you're welcome!
- Get a hit TV show on the Disney Channel. I'm thinking that by the time you exist this shouldn't be too hard as the Disney Channel's standards are slowly depleting so by the time you're alive I'm pretty sure they will have none at all!
- Find famous friends to get high with (see there really is no point in doing drugs unless you're famous and with famous people)
- Cut off all your hair but in a less dramatic way than Britney Spears (see it's the same crazy thing but it looks different so you seem more same) the best way to do this is to avoid attacking things with Umbrellas
- Get engaged to an EXTREME hottie who for some reason seems to not notice how completely insane you are... good work there
- stop wearing pants all together
So at this point you're pretty well on you're way to experiencing life the way it should be experienced... life is for the living, so live it up baby!
All my love to my little Flip-Flop Dinglehopper,
Love, Mommy
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