Ode to Diet Coke

Oh Diet Coke, you fill me with joy! 

my full Styrofoam cup filled might be better than a boy...

 

remember when the stewardess brought me the full can with out me even asking?

yes that was the day she and i became friends, a friendship completely unlacking...

Then she remembered my love of you on the second leg of the flight,

I might marry her now that it's legal all over, yes i just might! 

Then I could fly free and sip you all over the skies,

I'd ask myself, with unlimited Diet Coke, who needs guys?

I rarely need more than a can and some netflix,

they are just the medicine for all ales i must fix.

Diet Coke, you may have once been made with a drug,

your past I will happily sweep under the rug.

I wrote this poem for you, and I do so knowing,

there will be ridicule others think owing.

To them I say they won't understand our love,

And that's ok because I know plenty who will agree with the above!

To my fellow addicts I wish you well

Happy day to all from me and my Diet Coke, to the rest I can only attempt to tell

this story of one girl's love of a soda

however, this is the end, there will be no coda!

How G-ma Mary screwed me over...

So I just remembered something... My grandma didn't get married until she was in her LATE 30's.... Like LATE, LATE .... My mom's oldest sister was born on my Grandma's 40th birthday.... 40....40.... I'm only 15 years away from that ridiculous age! GOSH DANG I'M OLD!!!!!

anyway...

My g-ma was married 3-times, one was a pretty short marriage and in all honesty we don't know ANYTHING about the man... the second marriage produced my mom and her 2-sisters and the third marriage was her happy time... but the woman was probably like, 47 when that one happened.

Reason #33--> It's in my blood!

My grandma screwed me twice over...

1st... she was married at a VERY old age...

2nd...she married 3-times... honestly there are only so many marriages allowed in one family, she may have used up my chance.

Proof:

1st... My mom wasn't married until she was 28 (that's like 100 in Mormon woman age) and one of my cousins wasn't married until she was 30 or 31 or something.... My aunt was married twice and the second husband was significantly younger than her. PS... on my Dad's side my aunt was married at a much older age and that grandma was married twice... mmhmm my chances are looking slimmer by the moment!

2nd... all my female cousins are married, and my sister (while she is now a missionary) will probably be married within a year of her return... So that will leave me, the only female on both sides of my family who is unmarried and by then after all the remarriages and old-marriages I'm pretty positive our family will be all out of spouses.

So as I have said before, thanks to genetics I will never marry!

On the bright side, another thing my G-ma Mary (who was btw SUPER BA) handed down is serious LONGEVITY... She lived to be 94, her mother and sister lived to be 93... So I'll be able to live alone and kiss-less for another 70 years!

New Year New reasons...

The countdown has started... In a little over 5-months I will be turning 25... The big quarter mark! And if I reach that age and have not kissed a boy I will officially give up! Maybe it's the fact that I still call them boys that is keeping me from kissing them... I don't know but we're on the final stretch here...this is where I start to accept the sad fact that I may never have to change the name of this blog...

Here's what I've been discovering while I've been gone (I have no excuse except extreme laziness and a sad Discovery that I no longer know why I'm not dating)

1. I need to grow up... At this point I can't be expecting someone my own age to be interested... I need to be prepared for those who are 30+... They may already have children, have need divorced or widowed and are looking for an experienced child care expert I mean wife replacement I mean me... i.e. Not boys...

2. I have no room to be picky any more... I mean seriously at this point I should be grateful for the attentions of Smithers or the Comic Book Guy... I mean seriously...

3. My nerd-like knowledge of teen fiction/television/ and movies probably will never attract a man to me... Perhaps a Dungeon Master, but probably not a man...

4. Alcohol would probably make my life a little easier...

5. There are good reasons I stay away from alcohol (I didn't try it but it's pretty clear to me that I never should!)

6. My fast food consumption may or may not but probably may be something rehab worthy... Do they have fast food rehab? Maybe in Wisconsin?

7. I should probably stop acting like an agoraphobic if I want to date...

Well... I think I just made my New Years Resolution list... I love killing two birds with one stone!

Ps. PETA I've never killed one or two birds!