Leslie Jones

Leslie Jones, she is my new hero! And in honor of her rant about how she would have done well in the slave days, I'm going to share with you how if I had been born in 16th century Europe I'd have killed it!

I'm 5'11" and my body type could be described as "more to love... no like MORE to LOVE!" women in my situation could have gone two routes...

Route #1: Royalty/rich... larger people ate more, there for they had more money to pay for food... mo money no problems... that's how it goes right? People with money were seriously sought after as I have learned from watching Reign on the CW. Rich people, whether short, fat, young, old, tall, skinny, what evs they looked like er'body wanted a piece of that! So if I'd been right I'd have had ALL the guys up ons this!

Route #2: A prostitute: I don't know what it is but in almost EVERY freaking period movie/tv show I see prostitutes are almost always luscious ladies! Their teeth are rotting, they have more venereal disease than the entire decade of the 1970's, and their job was pretty much gross, but hey they were not short of boyfriends were they? too far? The point is, I would probably have owned that brothel, and I'm not looking to make soup! I would have been the big mama, like the owner, operator, and head madam of the house! Which is actually better, I've paid my dues and now I'm just living the high life, you know. I can make myself available for the, you know, high ranking people, make a lil money, have a good time... ok I'm going too far...

Any way, the point is I'd have done well back in the day, which is why I'll be sending my head shots to Reign in the hopes of being cast as one of Mary's ladies' in waiting who gets a lot of the hot foreign dignitaries to make treaties with us... also don't google "Rubinesque paintings" ... just trust me on this one!