One of them...

I'm one of them... one of "those girls" I always assumed that come 25 I'd be married and have a husband to help me worry about money matters and all that... I figured by now I'd have a kid and be blogging about diapers and the best laundry detergent and all that stuff... But no, I'll be 25 in 19 days and I'm stressing about how I'm going to survive come August. I'm actually freaking out, I mean let's be real, my skills include secretarial (excuse me Administrative) work and satirical life evaluations on my blog that got 9-hits in three day, oh, and an Associates Degree in Generals. So basically I should be getting job offers out the wazoo!

I never wanted this, though... I never wanted to be someone who relied on others, but there it is, and I don't know how to fix it... Google tells me to set goals and make charts and map out my budget but I've never been super good at planning ahead so here's what I'm going to do:

READ THIS! 

1. Buy lottery tickets: I know people say to save save save, but I'm wondering if prayer+lottery=my salvation!
2. Troll Craigs List: I've always thought Craig's list was good for free stuff and job searches but I'm thinking about looking for a husband... there as got to be a few almost-to-the-grave old guys with plenty of money and no one to pass it to looking for a wife of the last few years of their life... right?! 
3. Inherit Millions: This one is a little tricker, my main plan is to some how worm my way onto a celebrity's family tree and have them add me to their will, I'm pretty sure this won't be too hard...
4. Fake a bunch of shiz on my resume: As I've seen loads of movies that prove that one way or another this works, I'm pretty sure this will award me either A) a high paying job that I'm unqualified for but through various tricks and cuteness I win my bosses over and they just HAVE to keep me or B) a husband... so either way I think this will work out well. I'd like to thank Hilary Duff and other actresses who taught me that deception always works if you're adorable!

I believe that four is enough plans... I'll have plenty of backups if the Lottery tickets don't pan out, which, come on, I don't know how they couldn't! Wish me luck!