Thursday, November 21, 2013

18 is the new 5

So as it turns out, yet another reason I'm not dating may or may not have to do with the fact that I'm constantly surrounded by 18 year olds that act like 5-year olds... Granted, not ALL of them are included in this, some of them act like they are 14... but those that act like 5-year-olds are really ruining all chances of me EVER dating, let alone getting married.

So why, one might ask, would you blame your lack of an ability to get a date on 18-year olds... here are my reasons

  1. I'm loosing patience... in EVERYTHING there for I will have no more patience left for boys who from what I hear, require a lot...
  2. Potential lovers may or may not walk in on me screaming at said 18-year-olds... This goes back to the loosing patience thing, but heres the thing... I have an ability to scream that rivals all others... so if I get to that place, people within a 100-mile radius should really worry about their ear drums...
  3. I'm loosing all desire to procreate if this is how children come out...
  4. I'm becoming very jaded... which is never an attractive quality
  5. with all the extra hate in my heart I'm loosing any desire to do my hair and make up... there's just not enough room for caring anymore
Ok, so that last one especially kind of proves #4, doesn't it?! Let me ask you guys a question, have you ever been in a room where the negativity was literally permeable... I have and I'm using all the energy I have to walk through it... It's kind of like those visible stink clouds in cartoons... like a green cloud that rolls out of their mouths like a skunks butt... is that too descriptive? 

Ok enough complaining let's try to come up with some solutions for this problem...
  1. Murder... too harsh? maybe...
  2. yelling... well, I don't want to hurt my voice
  3. Time machine
So... we're kind of back to murder... good thing I watch a lot of forensic shows, I think I know enough from all the episodes of CSI i've seen that I can make someone disappear for good...