Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Why I want to live in a continuum of Mary-Kate and Ashley movies


Here is a list of reasons I want to live in MK&A movies... incase you're wondering where this is coming from... I recently bought a 4-pack of some of their greatest movies, and have had a bit of a marathon... so I'm pretty much an Olsen expert... go ahead, quiz me!
  1. Travel around the world at no cost to myself because I have...
  2. Rich parents who basically let you do whatever you want
  3. instagram-like cinematography 
  4. flash back montages
  5. there is always a significant other for everyone!
  6. ridiculously cheesy lines that always seem to work...
  7. They solve crimes
  8. always the hippest wardrobe
  9. no consequences for breaking laws
  10. Food! 
  11. Shopping--endless amounts of shopping and there never seems to be a bill!
  12. legit frequent flyer miles!
  13. all the best vacation activities 
So I realize that I already basically said that I think that my lack of acting in Gossip Girl was the reason I don't date, but let's be real... this all could have been fixed if my parent's had just got me into acting as a baby... I could be just like MK&A... my life would totally be recorded in a series of cheesy movies that never end in reliability... You know it's true!



Megan Fox was in a MK&A movie... and look where she is now... married to the star of 90210... where is the bad there, oh, what's that... there is no bad there... I KNOW, RIGHT?!

I mean, come on... they even had their own crime-fighting cartoon for a while there... I'm just sayin'  you know they are cool...

If you need me I'll be looking into creating some sort of magical object that will allow me to step inside one of their movies... let me know if you have anything in mind!

a side note...

A little PS, I'd like to announce that my first giveaway was a success and we have 2-lucky winners... that's right 2!!! I was too excited about this to do just one! So thank you to Danica and Ashley!

PSS... so my friends Deidre, Autumn, and I had a little too much fun this weekend... check it out, we came up with 3 ways one of our favorite show's could end: Pretty Little Bloggers is here for your enjoyment!

Monday, July 29, 2013

A day in the life of someone who should have spent more time in the 80's

I was born in the 80's as I like to tell anyone who will listen, what I neglect to say, as long as I can, is that I was born in 1989... so it's only technically the 80's... However unconnected to the 80's my birth may be, I am and always will be an 80's baby... Give me some Whitney Huston, some Cindy Lopper, I'll gladly take a plate of some Billy Idol... ooh, some Bangles please! I'd love to wear a sweat band as a fashion statement... Acid-wash jeans, please and thank you! A hot guy picking me up in a Trans-am on my 16th birthday?... uh, do you even have to ask?! A black one thank you, a black car, a pink guy! Heck, let's be real... I would SO not object to some Will Smith in a pink trans-am... (If you have suddenly decided I'm a racist then you obviously haven't seen 16 candles... and that disgusts me, so you should finish reading this post and then drop whatever else you have planned for your day and watch it... Sam Baker's life is one all people should be privy to! Just be warned there is some slight female nudity... so if that bother's you, find it on TV... )
Anyway... 

So how is this keeping me from dating? Well it's obvious, isn't it... all of my love prospects are waiting for me in the 80's... I am out of the time loop... which is probably why I am almost always late, or wayyyy too early, never on time. 

Lesson # 26: Always have Marty McFly on speed dial!

I long for the days when boys called you "Volcanic" (hot and dangerous), when "Jerk" meant "nerd", when the bigger your hair was, the better your love life was! I wish I could take Andie's place and make Duckie fall in love with me... I would never choose an appliance over him! Pretty in Pink reference... What I wouldn't give to be a member of the Brat-Pack... Those were some people who knew how to have fun! 
So here I am, sitting in 2013, wishing I could have some Jake Ryan, or some Lane Myers... maybe Lloyd Dobler  outside my window holding a boom box above his head playing a song that summarizes everything I'm going through in less than 4-minutes! I want Ferris Buller breaking me out of school and then serenading me and all of New York to Danka Schoen  Much like Walt Disney, John Hughes ruined my life, and made it better all at the same time! 
I think in protest to my lack of time travel I'm going to start wearing high wasted jeans, scrunchies, and stringy leather jackets... Gosh Dang... I love the 80's!
See you soon Ferris, you are my true love!





Friday, July 26, 2013

Feel-Ganki Friday (That means "excited" in Japanese!!)

Happy Friday, friends! For me, Friday means that I'm one step closer to my bro-ski leaving me for two years... which is sad... but it's cool... to help me get through it I've got some music and movies I think I should share with you guys! Ok?! Ok!!

Here's some music for you to obsess over!

Hothouse by 78Violet

Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn ... Just watch it, ok??!

Disney Medly by Disney Dudez ... you're welcome! (Granted I think the Emo prince from Cinderella is maybe a little much, but the boy has pipes!)

Maroon 5 Mashup by Victoria Justice & Max Schneider

Cup Song This is by far the BEST version I've seen of this song!


Here's a Youtube video you need to see... it's a throwback to before Amanda Bynes went cray-cray! ...you're welcome!

Amanda Please!

Movies:

The Three Musketeers

Moonrise Kingdom

It Takes Two

Ok... we both know I could keep going, but let's just leave it at that for now! Don't forget my GIVEAWAY!! It'll be going on for a little while longer!

Have an amazing weekend!!! See you Monday! Until then... Try to prank someone this amazingly... good luck!
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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A day in the disaster zone!

So... my room exploded! I'm pretty sure that's what happened, at least. I'm in the process of moving, taking a pit stop at home and so this is the current state of my room. I'm a little scared to engage in the organization process, which leads me to:



Lesson #25: be at least good at pretending you're a good organizer...

I am neither naturally good at organizing or at pretending to be... I have all these ideas in my mind and on my Pinterest, however in the process of translating those ideas to my fingertips, something seems to get lost in the mix and before you know it, boom... my room looks like District 12 after an ariel strike from the Capitol... it looks like Hogwarts after ol'Voldy and his gang run amuck... it's akin to the meadow after the big battle scene in the end of the 5th Twilight movie (you know the fake thing that made everyone in the theater start freaking out when the sexy doctor's head go popped off!) Ok, I'm done with the nerdy references...

So this picture to my right ---------------------------->
------------------------------------------------------------->
isn't even something I claim just happened... this is a box I sent to myself FROM MY MISSION... I got home almost a year and a half ago... if that box were a baby it'd be walking and saying mama by now... but no, it's an inanimate object that I've left in a corner of my room to die!







So here I am posting my failure on the interwebs... I will NEVER date! Not that they can't already tell... remember how they can look into your eyes and see your genetic flaws ya well I'm pretty sure my lack of organizational skills is one of those flaws... so there they are, sitting there across the way, they don't got a lot to say but there's... wait a minute, this isn't a disney song! There they  are, staring into my eyes and what do they detect, the worst of the female species, the woman who can't keep her kitchen in order! How am I supposed to make my man a sandwich if I can't remember where I put the knifes?!

Here it is, my one saving grace, single men, start paying attention... This is a picture of my window seat, it shows all of my priorities mapped out and depicted by my stuffed animals...

  1. Jesus is right there in the middle, because everything is all about him! If I was Ke$ha I'd have "Jeezus on my nekalus-us-us-us"... too much?
  2. So I don't like clowns... except my clown bear, he's just so cute! And he's holding a football (I love football, really any sport where I can show off to boys that I have an amazing arm and could totally be the next insert famous outfielder here so boo-ya!
  3. To ClownBear's right we have Piratebear... he's pretty legit, he even has a pet parrot... I just really like pirates and wish I could be one...
  4. On the other side of Jesus we have my special stuffed animals, they are all about family and good memories... I would say that those people are pretty important to me, oh I meant my family, not Lamby, Mr. Moo Moo and Eeyore (And I looked it up so I know that's how you spell it) ...

Well, Now that you've taken note, gentlemen, please feel free to contact me via any of the media outlets I've supplied under my profile information! Ladies, please feel free to recommend me to any and all of your attractive male friends and family members, I'd make the BEST in-law... I'm just sayin!

PS. don't forget about yesterday's giveaway, it's going on for a whole week so keep entering!!!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Give away time!

Ok, so I've never done this before, so this should be fun! Ok guys, here's the link to our very own give away... win one of my famous, hand-made, custom notebooks... they're awesome... ok, trust me, or better yet, here are some pics...







The first pic is the front of the notebooks and the second photo is the back...

So there you have it! Sorry the posts have been slightly lacking lately, I just got done packing up my life and moving back home for a few weeks, and then I'll be headed to Gillette WY, for a little while, so the next few weeks are going to be crazy! I'll make sure not to neglect you guys too much though!

For now, enter my contest and win an awesome custom made notebook! I'm so excited to share my hobby with you!!




Monday, July 22, 2013

A day in the life of things I don't usually do...


SO I don't usually do things like this... I'm not hokey like that, but when I read these questions I realized some of the answers to them might hold the keys to why I'm not dating, so to my new friend from the blog my mom's a whack job here are my answers to your nomination for the "Liebster award" ...whatever that is...

1.  What word do you use all the time and in what context?
  • Frakk: It's technically a cuss-word of the future, from the show BSG.... I'm not going to lie to you guys, I've never seen BSG... But I have seen my favorite show Veronica Mars, and I got it from there... I say it all the time, usually in the place of the "f-word" (which I hate!) or "shoot" "wow" "holy-cow" etc... I use it several times a day!
2.  Name one thing you did that made you proud of yourself this week.
  • So, here at BYU-I (my college) there are some ridiculously strict parking regulations... it get's pretty annoying... anyway, I was running late for class and I knew that the only way to get to class in a reasonably timely fashion was to drive to class, and I don't have a parking permit, so I knew I'd most likely get an over-priced parking ticket... but I chose to take the chancel, here are a few of my rationalities... 
    1. it's summer, the amount of students on campus is drastically smaller, and on top of that the amount of students parking on campus is drastically smaller, so there will be plenty of open parking places
    2. if I time it just right hopefully the parking nazi won't me in my vicinity! 
    3. if I pray God will help me! 
  • PS... it worked! No ticket, hence, I'm so proud of myself! 
3.  What is your favorite place to hang out with your girlfriends?
  • St. George, Utah... 
4.  What is the last text message you received say?  Who was it from?
  • "I'm going to miss you too" from my friend Shayne... we work together and I'm going to miss the crap out of that girl!
5.  What was the oddest thing you ate as a kid?
  • I think I ate dog food once... that's actually how we found out I'm allergic to dogs, We were at a family friend's house and I'm on the floor with the dog covered in hives... I could be completely wrong about this and be retelling someone else's story and my mom will comment below with the true story, but there it is!
6.  What nickname does only your family or close friends call you?
  • Ok... don't hold these against me (like all the boys who aren't dating me probably are...)
  • Simba (my dad)
  • Sama (most of my extended family and sometimes my mom)
  • Samy (people I work with and people who knew me my first semester at college when I decided that Samy was more feminine than Sam... too bad it didn't stick)
  • Sam (most people I know)
  • Samantha (only my family and my best friend call me this...)
  • My Rose (That one is from my friend Justin)
  • Ho-Bag (my friend cameron told me once that he jokingly called a girl that and she slapped him so I told him he could call me that just to make him feel better... it stuck! I call him "sexy-buns")
  • Kemp (all the guys I served my mission with still call me this...)
  • Ok... I think I went a little over board, but there you have it!
7.  Do people tell you that you act older, younger, or your age?
  • depends on who you're asking... People who know my mature side say I act older than my age, people who I'm related to or who have been around me at 2am say I act younger than my age... much younger... and people who hang around me on a regular basis would probably say I act exactly my age...
8.  Ever been skinny dipping?
  • yes... When I was probably 13, my family was on this weird faction... we just drove a lot of places... one of the places we stopped was my Dad's friend's cabin... we were just stopping really quickly I think, and if I remember correctly they weren't even home (see I told you, weird!) And their cabin was on a lake... so there we are wishing we'd brought swimming suits and my mom goes "why don't you guys just go skinny dipping" and we were all like "eww mom! no!!" and then she forced us to... so have I ever been skinny dipping? yes, under duress... 
9.  Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house?
  • yes, the drive through at McDonalds, ONLY knows me in my Pajamas... any grocery store I go to at 10pm, once I went to work at 6:30 am in my pj's... work meetings at 7am. sometimes if I have a long drive ahead of me I make that drive in my Pajamas!  
10. What sound or noise do you love?
  • Air conditioning
11. Ever had an imaginary friend as a child?
  • When I was a little girl I had an imaginary friend named Karise from Sally, California... you have to say it just like that too... and her dad's name was Coldylocks...

Ok, so there it is, 11 reason's why I'm not dating... 








Friday, July 19, 2013

Feel Golden Friday

My brother's coming to visit! So today the post is going to be rather short... I think today I'll just suggest a TV show for you to look into... I need you to watch all 3-seasons, and then listen to the soundtrack and anxiously await the movie with me!!!

Veronica Mars is about a teenaged girl a$$-kicking sleuth! She's everything I want to be and much much more!! There's mystery, there's romance, there's everything. She's hilarious, she's amazing... Am I making myself clear? I LOVE VERONICA MARS!!! and I promise... you will too!



Veronica Mars --> there's the link to all the episodes, it's totally legal, I swear!


Veronica Mars Soundtrack


Veronica Mars IMDb

Just trust me on this... it'll change your life!




Thursday, July 18, 2013

People need to calm it down!

I am a pretty mellow person, I go with the flow I let things fly off the cuff, etc, other clich├ęs... any way, This whole mellow thing is something that I've recently realized not everyone has... and the person with the least amount of mellowness is the person who sleeps in the room right next to mine...

My roommate freaks out about EVERYTHING... she freaks out about an A-, she freaks out about clean checks, she freaks out about the existence of boys, she freaks out about life in general... And the rest of us have to calm her down.. so today i thought i'd blog about what it means to be mellow so you guys can "Calm it down" Really this is a service for those who have to live with you.

Here's a list of ways to help you calm it down...

  1. Meditate. When you feel yourself start to freak out sit down, where ever you are; the Bank, the grocery store surrounded by screaming children, a concert... where ever you are, sit down criss-cross-apple-sauce style and meditate... (this works best when you chant "omm"while you are meditating, especially if you're in a public place, you have to get rid of the outside noise some how...)
  2. Eat lots of cheese burgers... I don't know why this works, but it just does, ok?!
  3. say inappropriate words as many times as you can without laughing, then have a good laugh... my favorite is... well maybe I don't need to put my favorite on the interwebs.... (I'll give you a hint, it's not a bad word, it's a medical term)
  4. drink a Diet Coke, or your poison of choice
  5. Make this your mantra: "it don't me a thing if it ain't got that swing..."
Ok, so there are five tips to help calm you down... and if that doesn't work... look at this! 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A day in the life of the giggler

The other night I was watching Nacho Libre with my roommate when our other roommate's boyfriend basically compares me to some really annoying laugher in some movie... I don't remember who it was now, all I remember is that I wanted to punch the guy... any way, I've always told myself that there is some man out there who will find my laugh endearing. I'm pretty sure at this point I'm just lying to myself.

Lesson #24: early on, learn to laugh like a normal person.

My laugh is like the hyenas in the Lion King... and it's loud... it's just kind of bad, and I don't really know how to not laugh like that either. My only solution is to become jaded, and no longer find anything funny. This will work on two levels, 1st I'll stop laughing so that's good for everyone. 2nd Because I don't find things funny boys will begin to think i'm mysterious and find me a challenge, which is super awesome!

From here on out I will find nothing funny, that should be easy right?

So I just googled "not funny" and it appears that cats and President Obama are pretty hard to amuse... I must be more like them! Attributes they have that I must emulate:

  1. Lazy (Cats spend their day mostly sleeping...)
  2. Bad with Economics (I hear Cat's don't know anything about money!)
  3. Easily give into peer pressure (Cats will eat just about anything and poop just about anywhere you tell them, don't they have minds of their own?)
  4. Good public speaker (Cats can make just about anything sound good
There you have it four of President Obama's attributes Cat's have, that I think I should start to emulate! 

Well Lady's and gentlemen, that's all I've got for you today! Until next time... PS, please comment with things you'd like me to write about!


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Finals...

Such a disturbing word... it fills students everywhere with fear and loathing... and this week is my finals week. Due to the weirdest school schedule ever! I have classes January-July and I am officially ready to be done!

I don't really get the point of finals, I believe when the whole institution started it went something like this (all villains speak in british accents so remember to think in one while you're reading this) "Cheerio old chap! So I was thinking about how e can best destroy all the spirits of our students, as this is our ultimate job... well I've decided the best way is to teach them stuff through months of classes, test them on it, give them busy work and then, just when they can see the finish line we test them on it all over again. That's right we force them to cram into their brain's a semester's worth
of studying all over again, just to see how much stress they can handle. We'll force the, to over use caffeine, stay up for hours on end, and cry unit their tears fun dry... and their finals will count for a ridiculous 50% of their grade!" Yes, that's almost precisely how it went down, I'm quite sure! Oh... I've got to turn off my british brain!

We'll I'm off to misuse caffeine, sleep deprive myself, and possibly cry until my tears run dry!

Talk to you tomorrow, kids!

Monday, July 15, 2013

A day in the life of the girl who's more cynical than most...

So a few years ago I remember sitting in my living room and laughing about something stupid... so there we are and this guy walks in and says something even stupider to us and we just bust up... he says something along the lines of "you guys are more cynical than most"... and so obviously we put a sign on our door that said something to that effect.... so ya, I'm a little cynical... whenever I see a couple walking all couple-y I think to myself, "how many points if I hit them" (Speaking of my brother and I had a conversation about this very subject once, did you know that the amount of points you get from hitting someone can be tally'd by the following key points:

      1. residual guilt
  1. effect the hit will have on others
These two key points are crucial, for instance, if I hit a Punk-A-B then you will probably only get something like 5 points where as if you hit a mother and baby you'll get 50! If you hit a Burger King you'll probably only get 10 points but if you hit a five-guys you'll probably get something like 500 points...

Lesson #23: stop thinking!

Ok, now back to the MAIN point... I'm Cynical... So how is my cynicism keeping me from dating... well it all start with the fact that women aren't made to be thinkers... Men don't want women with independent minds they want women who will do what they are told and are good at cooking... I on the other hand just kind of do my own thing... I mean  I can cook but I don't do it very often. I have some very independent thoughts and my cynicism is proof of that.

So my solution is going to basically going to be to stop thinking... I'm probably going to have to change my major to Marriage and Family Relations (because who wants a girl to be dealing with politics/the law anyway, that's not woman's work)

if you guys have any idea about how to shut down my brain let me know... it's not that easy. I hope you enjoyed these funny meme's I found... I love women jokes!

well, I'm off to cook something!






Friday, July 12, 2013

Feel Gorgeous Friday!

Today is Friday, and Friday is the day when I get to fill your mind with music and movies that I think you NEED to experience for whatever reason I deem worthy! I've decided to devote this friday on songs that make me feel gorgeous, it's going to be a day all about feeling good about yourself!

I'm too Sexy By Right Said Fred                         I Feel Pretty from West Side Story

Gold by Victoria Justice                                      Goodies By Ciera

I Feel Good By James Brown                             Sexy and I know It By LMFAO

Hopefully these songs will help you fell beautiful/hot/sexy like all of you are! Now here are some movies for you to enjoy!

Empire Records                                Legally Blonde                                   Hot Rod

All of these movies are about being who you are and being ok with being that person! which is what true beauty is all about... I know I got deep there, sorry guys!

Have a great weekend friends! And remember...
not all single people are like this... Click on me to change your life! 

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Romeo and Juliette anger me...

It's our first Random-Thought-Thursday!

So, I've been reading a book... we don't need to mention which book... and it mentions Romeo and Juliette a lot, so I've had a lot of time to think about them... and I've decided that I hate them, A LOT! Here are the reasons why...


     photo 6720d41c-d69c-40e5-8a10-5f2eb4e90a28_zps586d60b7.jpg
  1. They are 14... fourteen!!!! 14 is much too young to be "in love" especially this deeply, especially after, like 3 days of knowing each other...
  2. They are completely impulsive... in a really bad way... come on kids with age comes wisdom enough to know that you should think before you act, like maybe wait a few minutes after finding your lover dead to make sure they are 100% dead... call a doctor, check the pulse, hold a spoon under their nose... I'm just saying, don't KILL yourself immediately... 
  3. Who is this nurse who just leaves the room and leaves two very hormonal 14-year-old's alone... you KNOW what's going to happen... let's be real!
  4. "I bite my thumb at you" I'm angry that this didn't really take off, the way it should have... As far as insults go, that one is pretty legit!
  5. Juliette, why are you ok with the fact that Romeo just LITERALLY killed your cousin... he's family, and that boy you love, you met him 2 days ago... so family over 2-days of passion!
  6. I hate couples
  7. Ridiculously-restrictive parents make me so mad... haven't you had a teenager for 4 years, don't know know by now that they will do everything you tell them not to?!

So there you have it, 7 reasons Romeo and Juliette make me want to choke Shakespeare... Sorry Will, but it's a fact! 

PS... I just spent 5 minutes trying to get my roommates to say "Penis" so... it's a good day!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A day in the life of some changes...

So I've been thinking... it's getting a little bit harder to come up with reasons I'm not dating... I mean, I'm pretty sure there are about a million more reasons, but it's just getting harder to figure them out. So I'm thinking maybe we'll do something different.

Monday/Wednesday: Why I'm not dating

Tuesday/Thursday: Friend Suggestion or review of something or just whatever is on my mind... (no worries, it will be funny!)

Friday: will stay the same!

SO I hope that's cool with you...

Today is Wednesday you guys so that means, another reason I'm not dating/married...

So I've discovered I'm a little boy, I have the humor of a little boy... So last night I was watching Hot Rod with some friends, and if you haven't watched that movie I highly suggest you do so... unless you are an adult, in which case it might be a little too childish for you... So here I am sitting on the couch with five guys and some of my roommates and I'm CRACKING up at some of the most childish parts, fart jokes, burps, people getting beat up... etc. I was laughing harder than I've laughed in a while... and don't get me wrong, I actually love EVERY bit of it! I grew up in a home where farting was openly laughed at... here are some stories to illustrate my point...

1. My siblings and I used to play this game where we had to make one of us (I literally just tired to spell "of" "uf" WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?) who we named the King laugh, by saying the following in what ever manor we chose "tooth-fruity kiss my booty, it tastes just like cheese" no joke! Who came up with this game? me...

2. One time driving home from going out to dinner as a family my siblings were joking about farting and my grandma says "well, I can't wait to get home where people speak with civility" (or something like that) and my mom turns around and goes (and this is an EXACT quote) "You know what mom?!, FART FART FART FART FART FART FART!!!!!!!!!!!!" I LOVE my family SO very very much!

lesson #22: You are not Peter Pan... so don't act like it...

So I think it's obvious why this is keeping me from dating... no man wants to date a boy... at least not the kind of man I want to marry... or even know in general. So what am I going to do to fix this? Here is a list of things I need to fix...

  • Read Shakespeare, Dickens, and maybe some Jane Austin
  • Listen to some classical music
  • only watch documentaries  
  • speak in an english accent until I don't remember anything else (I feel like you can't make fart jokes in an english accent)
If you guys have anything to add to this list let me know... I'm in desperate need of growing up and I've never done this before so I could use some suggestions! 

You guys are the bomb!!

PS... any suggestions on what to write about tomorrow? or Tuesday? Let me know!!!



Tuesday, July 9, 2013

A day in the life of a bad speller...

So when I was typing up that title, I almost spelled "of" with a "v" not an "f"... that is a true story!

lesson #21: listen to your teachers when you are learning to spell

My father has been disgusted by my inability to spell for quite some time now, basically my whole life... I mean I'm pretty sure I popped out of the womb, the nurse handed me to my dad, he looked me in the eyes and said "her name will be bad speller, because I can see that in her eyes!" My parents later decided that bad speller might not be the best name for their first born child.

Here it is, the exact moment when they see
your ability or inability to spell...
So how is my complete and total lack of ability to spell affecting my love life? Well you see, much like my dad, I think all men might have the ability the catch a bad speller by looking into their eyes... so these guys look me in the eyes and see my inability to spell and they are concerned that it's genetic. So obviously they are immediately concerned about their children's ability to spell (because the minute a man looks into your eyes he's thinking about the future children you could have together). Once they've decided that you are going to ruin their children's lives through genetically bad spelling they know that they must move on, and that they must find someone else.

Well there you have it, I either need to find some type of medication for this or I should just stop spelling all together... ya, that's probably what I'll do...

PS... the only reason this blog entry isn't grossly misspelled is thanks to God's beautiful invention..."Spell Check"

Monday, July 8, 2013

A day in the life of some one who loves America maybe too much?

So I figured it out you guys, I'm supposed to marry someone from a different sexy country with a sexy accent and he is a little freaked out by how much I love America... I mean, my wardrobe is primarily Red-White-and-Blue... that's normal though, right? And it's normal to decorate your walls with American Flags, right? What? I really love America... it's basically the best country EVER!!

Lesson #20: maybe hold back your extremeness until the honeymoon...

So my sexy accented boyfriend is out there somewhere and the best thing I can do is suppress my true self! So I'm going to tone it down a little... maybe hum something other than the national anthem, maybe I could get some different color into my wardrobe, some yellow, purple, some GREEN?! Oh my gosh the possibilities are opening themselves up to me!

 photo c441187a-b57d-4ba3-80ca-559acd17e0be_zps824b00a9.jpgWell guys, if all things work out, this time next week I should be engaged to a sexy British or Australian man... I'm thinking maybe I'll do Liam Hemsworth a favor and break him and Miley up... that's what love is all about, right, saving each other!

PS... sorry I've been absent for a little while, I was celebrating my favorite holiday... INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!!! But from now on you guys, as far as anyone else is concerned my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, I will be a normal girl and I will get me a foreign man!!
Until next time my friends, Keep it real!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A day in the life of the girl who shouldn't swim...

So I discovered, monday night, that I am the least graceful swimmer since your dad belly flopped HARD CORE! It's bad you guys... Let's start with the dive... So I decided to try to dive, and slipped at the end of the diving board, and BAM! Semi-belly flop if you will... This picture was technically taken after the... incident, as I like to call it... but I think you can see my technique doesn't change. Also, as you can see I wore, like, all of my clothing, I think that was my major downfall, too much extra weight to stay well balanced enough. I could go into the science of it but i don't want to bore you.

Lesson #19: Learn to swim like a mermaid so you can date some hot merman

So after the jump... I swam with the current down stream... it was just sad, the way I was stumbling the whole way down... How is it possible that when I'm floating down stream I can look like I'm unsuccessfully swimming up stream... it's bad you guys! My inability to swim is another reason I'm not dating. Men like women who can gracefully swim incase they fall into a stream and they need to swim to shore... if your woman looks like a dying whale every time she swims well then... you might as well be dating a dying whale. So perhaps I should start taking synchronized swimming class... if you guys know of any good ones, let me know, because... I think that might be the only thing that helps me at this point!

Peace and Love you guys, Peace and Love


Monday, July 1, 2013

A day in the life of my new favorite hang out!

For today's lesson we're going to learn about hanging out at the right places... I've recently learned that I have no idea where to hang out. Apparently here in Sexy-Rexy the place to be is McDonalds. Yup... this is no lie, I mean, I guess considering the location it's not too surprising... Rexburg Idaho's Walmart is in the same parking lot as K-Mart, so obviously this is why it's the hot-hang...

Anna, a friend of mine, works at the Micky-Dee's here in Rexburg and she informed me that all the hotties in town like to hang out at McDonalds! I can't tell you how happy this makes me, I've been wondering where they are, I mean, they certainly aren't on my couch, so let's fix this, how can I get them on my couch? Either I move my couch to McDonalds, or I just move into McDonalds... right? I want to make my house their new favorite Hizzity-Hang!

Lesson #18: Be cooler than McDonalds

So basically the plan here is to know the hot hang out spots and then be better than that place. How am I going to be better than McDonalds you ask? Here's a list of ways...

  1. Make apartment smell like french fries: apartments have a much smaller square footage so this           shouldn't be too difficult! 
  2. Make good food (Basically I already have this one down... just ask anyone  I've ever cooked for)
  3. Have a play ground... it doesn't have to smell like pee... that is optional!
  4. Have toys; some for boys and some for girls!
So these are just some of the basic ways I'm going to try to make my home more accommodating and welcoming... like a McDonalds! Let's get some dates up in here!!!!