Friday, June 28, 2013

Feel Grand Friday!

Have you ever wondered what the actual butt crack of dawn is? Because I've discovered a definition.

The Butt-Crack of Dawn: The exact moment when one is aroused from an excellent nights sleep by the evilest of fire alarms going off in one's apartment building and just down the hall from one. 

Yes, today I experienced the Butt Crack of Dawn but that's ok, because it's Friday… and you know what Friday means…

Music to live your week by:

Cherry Bomb by The Runaways                                                        Love Somebody by Maroon 5

Determinate by Lemonade Mouth                                         Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Ray

Diva by Beyonce                                                    Hear by Moonpools & Caterpillers (100% 90's!)

Movies you best go out and watch!:

Heavy Weights                       The Host (Early release to iTunes!)              10 Things I Hate About You   

So there you have it, I've pretty much planned out your week for you! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do! If you are just itching for a little more of me this weekend visit my friend Deidre's blog! She featured me in her ongoing series "The Smile Chronicles" it was way fun to do, so check it out! 

See you monday my lovelies! 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

A day in the life of the vicarious lover...

I think maybe boys get a "not single" vibe off me because everyday I go on a date in my head... sometimes it's with Damon Salvatore sometimes it's with Dean Winchester  sometimes if I time travel to 11 years ago it's Max Evans... And that's not anywhere near all of them... Usually when I watch a movie I find a new man to date... So they are picking up on this whole taken vibe, on accident!

Lesson #17: HOLY CRAP #17 IS MY FAVORITE NUMBER! If you've seen Chicago, you know why!!! (the you know why is slightly unrelated but still funny!)

So I'm going to have to try something different, I'm going to have to break up with all of these guys, so here's my break up letter to my lovers:

Dear Pseudo-Lovers,
     We've had some fun times... remember that one tim... ok well, I don't want to make any one blush, but the thing is, we're going to have to take a break. You're holding me back, I love the time we've spent with each other and I will always cherish it, but if we keep this up any longer I'm afraid you will begin to ruin my chances with someone who doesn't spend most of their time on my TV screen. You'll always be important to me! 
I love you,

Whew, that was difficult! But I know it's what's best! 

Much love and friendship! 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

A day in the life of the accidental moo moo

So last night I had a night class, I'd spent all day in my work-out clothing from my softball class because as we've discussed I procrastinate so I came home from Softball class and started writing my paper that was due that night... So anyway, I took a shower about an hour before class and by the time I decided what to wear my mind was all about comfort... not about fashion... mistake #1. Mistake #2 was thinking that the loose shirt that looks cute with skinny jeans would also work with the flowie-hawaiian skirt I'd picked to wear... Mistake #3 was never buying a full length mirror.

So here I go, off to class in my loose shirt, and flowie skirt. I spent the first half of class (it's a 3-hour class) completely oblivious to my fashion disaster, which incase you were wondering is an amazing feeling! I was feeling nice and comfortable, I could have slept there (maybe that's bad...)   [Ok, when you click on the nice and comfortable link, make sure you play the dance mix afterwards... ]

Lesson #17: Look before you Leave

I thought I'd checked the mirror before I left, but at our half-way through the class bathroom break I was very sad to realize that a full-length mirror really does make all the difference... I looked straight off the streets of Hawaii, not that I've ever been there, but Lilo and Stitch taught me a long time ago that you are either a hot hawaiian with a rockin-curvy bod our you wear moo moo's... so I was definitely the moo moo type last night... the sad thing was that it wasn't a real moo moo so there were parts that could have been less construing and way more comfortable. Here's a side lesson for you, an amendment to the original if you will,

Lesson #17.2: If you aren't going to look before you leave at least make sure you don't have to deal with a waist band!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A day in the life of someone who wishes she could write!

Ok guys, today, instead of giving you reasons I'm not dating I'm going to promote a friend of mine, Karey White. Karey was my sunday school teacher and Young Women's leader. She and I got super close during the time she was my leader and I have fond memories of making a quilt my parents called disgustingly 70's throw-back, in her downstairs, talking about books and movies and life in general! One book/movie in particular we loved to talk about was Pride and Prejudice!!! I remember her telling me that she and her sisters watched and re-watched and timed that last scene in the 2005 version of the movie when Mr. Darcy walks through the mist and the field toward Elizabeth, one of the sexiest walks in the history of man kind! And now My dear friend Karey has written her third book and today she revealed her cover for that book

I want you guys to check out her blog, pick up her other books and be as excited as I am to read "My Own Mr. Darcy"... oh and if you go to her blog there are links to excerpts from the book and a giveaway... I LOVE FREE STUFF!!!

You guys are the bomb! I'm going to read this book and hope that it will help me find My Own Mr. Darcy, ok, let's be honest, at this point I might even take a Mr. Collins...

Monday, June 24, 2013

A day in the life of the intimidator!

The Intimidator... I feel like this is the name of a WWE star or a bad guy from the original Batman series, but no, this is my identifier! If you watched Easy A like I suggested to you on Friday then you know what I'm talking about, if you didn't STOP READING AND GO RENT IT!!!

Lesson #16: be a baby seal, not a killer whale!

The Intimidator... Which I googled, is the name for many things; moose, roller coasters, horses, race cars, eagles, And myself! I was out to dinner with some friends the other night and we were reminiscing about their bad dates (because I have none, I don't have good ones either) and such and I mentioned something along the lines of "I'm harmless" and Tyler starts BUSTING UP... He walked away to fill his cup just laughing... I said "what's so funny?!" And he goes "You, harmless?! hahahahahaha"

Tyler is not the first young man to tell me that I'm intimidating, I've actually been told a number of things that fall under the intimidating category for your enjoyment here are some examples of the wonderful things men and boys alike, oh and a little girl, have told me:

"Wow! You have really big hands for a girl, Oh! that's a complement, because if someone tried to rape you, you could just strangle them or rip off their arms!"

"Who's water ski's are these." (referring to my flip-flops)

"Wow, you are a giant."

"I've always been a little scared of you."

"You could beat any one up!"

Advice to the guys out there, these and other things like this are not appropriate things to tell girls, women, anyone really... Just think before you speak!

If you have any ideas about how I can soften my image leave a comment below!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Feel Grool Friday (I started to say great and then decided to say cool…)

So I'm sitting in my car last night thinking, "what am I going to write about tomorrow?" and then I remembered it's     FRIDAY!!!!!    So, Ya, It's FRIDAY! So here's your weekly list of songs you NEED to discover and movies you need to watch!!!

I don't know why you people hang out with me...
PS this is my rock-n-roll look!
You’re gonna make me lonesome when you’re gonesung by Miley Cyrus Because let’s be real, she only sounds good when the song isn’t her’s… she can thank Bob Dylan for this great song!

If I didn't have you sung by Mitchel Musso and Emily Osment  This song makes me think of some very special people in my life... I have been blessed with some kick-a## friends and this song is for them!

Rumors by Lindsey Lohan This is my club jam!

Candy by Mandy Moore Yup... 1999 was a good year!

Ok.. how about some movies now!?

The Lucky One: Zac Efron fixing stuff... enough said!

Billy Madison: For you silly/ ridiculous mood day (because if you're anything like me you have a LEAST one a week... sometimes 7

Easy A: If you have not seen this movie then we will have to put our friendship on hold, it will resume once you seen it!

Sixteen Candles: CLASSIC 80'S MOVIE!!!

Well, if that doesn't fill your week then you watch more tv than me! I love you guys! Until Monday, keep it real!

If you have some movie/song suggestions for me PLEASE comment below, I love new things! 

Thursday, June 20, 2013

A day in the life of the non-stuttering mess

"how do you... why would you... i don't even... hainsdo....sdnoin...wneoiniong...ioznoin...wlrkngoi..."
-Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan

My ability to speak like a normal human is obviously keeping me from dating! You see folks, it's obvious for a few reasons: 
1. when K-Stew spoke like she was high 24/7 she was dating R-Patts...
2. the minute she started speaking like a slightly normal human (the last movie) they break up! 
So, it is my conclusion that the most attractive thing about her (because lets face it, there really isn't much else appealing about her in those movies) was her inability to converse with people in normal human speak...

Lesson #15: Practice your stuttering while you still can!

I have a great deal of personal confidence, I am usually fairly confident in the things I say, so it's now obvious to me that this is one of the many things keeping me from dating! Why, oh why do I have to have actual brain capacity?! 

I found a video that I think will help... it's going to take a few times watching it to really get down the rhythm but I believe in my self! Check it out HERE

 So... I'm going to spend the next few hours studying that and then I'm going to head onto campus and try it out... if you guys have any other suggestions to help me get more good at, umm, public speaking, and stuff, comment below! 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A Day in the Life of A fashion-a-holic...

So I have this thing... I'm pretty addicted to fashion, here's the problem, fashion doesn't fit me (because there's too much awesome here to begin with)... Anyway So, fashion doesn't fit me so I'm stuck pretty much wear Old Navy most of the time. This isn't a really bad thing, I mean Old Navy has it's benefits, but I'm no Jackie O.

I realize that for the most part boys don't notice what you're wearing... but then again... Anyway I think Old Navy is keeping me from dating

Lesson #14: Be less awesome so you can fit into awesome clothing...

I went shopping today and I realized that beyond the fact that I definitely need more money, I need to stop being so awesome because there are some seriously awesome outfits out there that I really want to be wearing! Most of them can be found on PLL or your nearest 80's movie.

Old Navy is nice and all but it's best suited for beach going girls who like graphic Tee's, I have no beach and no particular affinity for Graphic Tee's... so who am I? I actually don't know any more... oh my gosh, I literally just lost my identity!


Ok, I went and got a Diet Coke and I remember who I am again! All is well!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A day in the life of someone with wayyyy too much homework!

I have a theory about why I'm not getting dates (ok, so as you've deduced by reading this blog I have about a million theories about why I'm not dating) Today's theory involves my proficiency in the art of procrastination!

Lesson #13: Do your homework!

There are probably boys out there who can smell my procrastination a mile away (or that might be because I haven't showered and I just got done play softball in the sun) They are steering clear away from the crazy girl who leaves all her homework for the Last minute!

This is not a skill you want to develop, so stop right now, while you still can... I'm too far into it, it will take a miracle to get me out of this rut! My mother says I have a "Way with words" I think she's just saying I can BS really well in mom-lauguage (Mom-Language: the dialect in which mothers take the weirdest and most undesirable of their children's abilities and make them sound awesome... it also is used when you mother is mad at you and you are in front of people... Mom's; making bad things sound good since Eve and the Apple) So anyway, I have this thing where I can BS really well, but when you leave a million things to do in one day (from the hours of now until 6PM, it makes it a little bit harder!)

I want you all to say something with me, and really mean it, this is for your own good!!: I WILL NOT PROCRASTINATE! Say it louder! I WILL NOT PROCRASTINATE!Ok... now that we've lied to ourselves, I'm going to go do some (and by some I mean a lot) of homework! Wish me luck!  And next time you want to procrastinate imagine this little girl glaring at you... that'll make you think twice...

Monday, June 17, 2013

A day in the life of A NEW BLOG!!!

I want to introduce you all to a new thing. That's right... it is a thing. My friend Deidre and I have bonded over many different moments in our life. But not until earlier this month did we realize our biggest similarity - an obsession with TV and shows and the characters in them. Obsession might sound a little strong... but let us all be honest, Deidre and I watch to much TV. So here we are with a new thing. The Channel Chicks. Reviewing shows from last week to get you PUMPED for the shows this week - oh and when it is in between seasons and new shows are lacking, we will review some oldies but goodies. So sit back, relax, and get ready for the review - with all sorts of *SPOILERS* (you've been warned) - brought to you by....
Miss USA
This one is Deidre's strength after competing in pageants herself. But this is what we can say about it... Swimsuits - lots of the girls were toooo skinny. Lots of little ribbys poking out. The most normal looking ones didn't even make it through. So that was sad. Although it also made us think twice about eating that next donut... dang skinny girls... but who are we kidding? Donuts always trump skinny.
Evening gown - there were some real winners and some real losers. That sounds mean.. but you understand. Miss Connecticut and Miss Illinois both had beautiful gowns. Deidre's favorite was Miss Alabama's - Miss DC wore it at Miss America and it has been love ever since. Sherri Hill... you nailed it! Miss Texas and Miss Lousianna... think again. Too much too soon.
Onstage question - THE BIGGEST DEBACLE SINCE MISS SC TEEN USA IN 2007! Oh Miss Utah, we feel for you. If you ever have a doubt - revert to something you know... REVERT! We felt really bad for her, holy cow, I can't imagine being up on that stage and having to answer questions. Here's the thing though, we watched her face while NeNe was reading the question and we just felt like she wasn't paying attention at all... so how could she answer correctly (or coherently answer) the question. It was especially painful because after about 3 seconds she paused and you could tell she knew she messed it all up - I can almost imagine what was going on inside her head... "Start over? Keep going? I'm not answering the question at all.... Start over? Keep going? Keeping going...." Overall, we weren't impressed with anyone's answer.
Crowning - Not surprised at all. But Deidre wanted Alabama. And Sam wanted Miss Utah to listen next time she got asked an onstage question.
Pretty Little Liars
First things first… How did the pig turn into a human? That threw us off a little... and then when it did turn into a human... aren't they better about protecting the body? It looked like a white plastic sheet thrown over Wildon’s face. And when it blew off we were thrown off. Why did no one felt the need to recover it? "Let’s just put the body here and come what may - who cares if the family hasn't been notified!"  Basically… we were confused about the sheet, we feel like someone would have done something about that, however it is Rosewood... not much thinking actually seems to go on in that police department...
So we hate that we still can't completely trust Toby, we wish they would just let us know if we can hate him or love him... because left to our own devices we’re inclined to love him and his impeccable abs...eff….
We feel like Mona is nice? But maybe evil? We’re pretty interested in how Mona's going to fit in this season, because the way they ended the episode was very reminiscent of the first episode's ending so it makes me wonder if she's going to become their friend... and end up being one of the group.
Those dolls at the trailer park… OH MY GOSH THE DOLLS!!!! If we didn't already have a problem with dolls -which we do- we do now... Holy crap... So creepy! We feel like Alison does have to be alive, but how?
Another thing that confused us… Alison’s mom is back in town. And loves to talk about Alison. Whhhhat? Wasn’t she a drunken mess last appearance and hated Rosewood and everything in it? Why the change of heart? Maybe Ali is alive?
What about the cell phone in the casket? What crap is A trying to pull? And why didn’t someone just “accidently” pull that black cape off of that weirdo’s head at the funeral? Oh… and new police detective guy? Seems nice – he is bound to not be so nice too..
Basically episode one left us with a lot of questions.
We had a hard time getting over how bad her hair was... We spent the first 10 minutes thinking about that, is that normal? Also, he had bad hair too… We think they are trying to make us think he's a serial killer just through his hair. The only person with good hair was the black friend. Fact. She did have good hair. We’re interested to see what role her guy/best friend is going to play, does he like her because that would be pretty typical for a TV show like this... Red jump rope, yellow jump rope, who cares? Fight it out girls, fight it out. And can we just say – for the whole show – who are their parents? Do they, besides the cop dad and Socio’s mom, even exist? That party was crazy… to many kids jammed in one house on a school night – no parents. Who just lets a 16 year old girl walk out of their home in the morning without saying anything? Weren't her parent's wondering where she was? Also. How did that one girl, “Know why he killed his aunt?” That necklace has got to be some evil heirloom or something that keeps people at bay. Okay. Maybe not anything supernatural – it was his aunt’s necklace. But we need to point out how creepy she looked in that photo…
However we are impressed by the acting, it's a scary subject to portray and they'll do well.
Well that wraps it up... sort of. We watch more but we need to take baby steps getting into this. Did you watch any of these show - what was your impression? What shows are you watching? What would you like us to review?  *Disclaimer: The Channel Chicks is trademarked by Deidre Miller of Love, The Skinnys and Sam Kemp of All Sorts of Virgin. It is not allowed to be duplicated or copied in any type or form by any person, group, blog, or business. Legal action will be taken.*

A day in the life of an old lady…

I’m old… it’s been a week since my birthday and I’m already starting to see wrinkles, I think I need to get some age-spot cream. 24 in the real world is pretty normal, right, I mean the Girls on the TV show “Girls” (which I can’t watch because of my virgin-ness) are 24. They live in NYC, they have temporary jobs, they date, they party… I am none of those things AND I live in the Mormon world, so, I’m old!

In Pride and Prejudice there’s a part where Charlotte tells Elizabeth why she’s marring creepy Mr. Collins. One of the reasons is that she’s 27… 27 in the normal world is when you’re just starting your serious career, you’ve done your traveling, you’ve messed around, now you’re getting a little more serious and you’re settling down, in Mormon world, you’re Charlotte Lucas, freaking out, preparing to marry Mr. Collins…  you poor, poor girl… And, I just want to point that I’m only 3 years away from that shame!

Lesson #12 Live while you’re young…

So, ya, I’m Old… I think this is why I’m not getting dates. Boys here at school want to date 19 year old bimbos… however since the missionary age-change all the 19-year-old girls are unavailable so they are “settling” for the 18 and or 20 year olds… they sacrifice so much! SO here I am, a Returned Missionary, which for a girl used to be rare, however now it’s like whatever, and I’m a Poly Sci major, which I thought would be a major fraught with boys but they are mostly married… and ugly…

How can I get past this problem I think my biggest solution is to move to a nursing home. I’ll be the youngest person there, I’ll have the possibility of becoming the next Anna Nichole (except she may have been younger than me when that whole thing happened, and I’d rather do it with out the whole court issues…) and the final reason I think a nursing home is my best option… meals included!

So in summation I’m old so I’ll be posting my future blogs from the nursing home down the street.