Lesson #4: Never allow your children to watch Disney movies (if you want them to have healthy relationships...)
It started with Simba... the "man" who loved his childhood sweetheart for lion-years after the death of his father... even after he ran away from home he never forgot the love of his life, Nala... it took one night to bring back all those adorable meant to be feelings back to the surface! Now I sit at home waiting for my Simba to knock on my door saying he suddenly remembered he couldn't live without me!
Then there's the Prince Charming's... you guys suck! You tried to make me believe in Love at First Sight... this one is hard to get over... and it also makes me think that love is less work than it should be... you jerks!
Prince Phillip... what can I say about you... you slayed a dragon, you're an older man (so that's hot!), You have the voice of an angel, you're kiss has the power to not only make you weak in the knees, but awaken the dead! Yup... I have no anger towards you, just marry me!
Beast... well you're name says it all, and in the immortal words of Sophie from Mama Mia "You're a doggon BEAST!" But seriously folks... The Beast made me believe I could change the bad boys... RUDE!
Aladin... not only did you captivate me in cartoon form buuut then you were on Full House and you made me love you as Steve, How dare you make me love you in two different forms! Split-persoanlity guys are uncool!!!
Ahhh Yes, Prince Eric... you are an animal lover, you row a boat like a beast, you have a frakking kingdom, you know how to sail giant boats... You're major flaw... you fell in love with that stupid whore queen waaaayyyy too quickly, have a little self-control you teenager!
So I think that covers it... Disney Princes, you suck and I can't trust you with my heart anymore, I didn't want to do it like this, over a blog on the internet, but I have to break up with you. It's what's best for me and my lips... and it's what's best for you too!
Much Love to you,
Sam
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