A day in the life of someone who needs to take a texting class

So I googled "People who text too much" and this is what I got:

If that doesn't scare you than NOTHING can or ever will!!!

Lesson #5: Be better at texting!

It seems to me that people who are really good at texting, flirting through texting, making jokes while texting, drawing out text-versations, those are the people who get boyfriends! So obviously I need to look for a class on that, I mean, there has to be a class for that, right?

I am terrible at text-fliriting! Normal flirting is hard enough but on top of that to have to do it when you can't see their face to know if they like what you're saying... I fail every time! I can't even be funny through text-message... I feel like my humor requires more than 100 characters to translate well (I'm not good at being funny over twitter either).Well, there goes my shot at being famous, if my twitter isn't good I'll never have much of a fan base. Dammage! (My new favorite faux-swear, go ahead... try it out... that felt good huh?)

So despite my personal feelings about how texting can ruin relationships I'm going to have to change my wicked, wicked ways... I mean, obviously they aren't working for me... being all sorts of virgin and such...

Thinking about my texting issues I believe there are a few other phone related activities I'll need to get better at... I'll need to be more attached to my phone, checking it every 3 minutes at least. I should make sure I have said phone on me at all times or I should start hyperventilating (this shows that I care deeply about things and boys will think "that girl will care about me and my text messages". I will need to be much more diligent about Snapchat, this is going to involve working on my duck face from different phone angles and distances from my face, my lips might get the needed work-out I lack from kissing!! Finally, I need to be Instagraming much more frequently and making sure that my Instagram followers know where I am, what I'm doing, and who I'm with at ALL times!

I hope I'm not missing anything, other wise I will NEVER get a boyfriend!

Those of you who have boyfriends/husbands/lovers/etc... please inform me of the international texting rules and ways to text-flirt so that I can someday be like you! I love you "my freaky darlings!" (if you can name that movie with out googling it you could win a prize! This is for real though, I like this idea... the first person to name that movie; and obviously I can't regulate the google thing so we're going on the honor system here, gets one of my custom notebooks as featured on my Instagram a few months ago!!) Comment with your answers!!

Well... after this blog I think I need to remind myself of lesson 1 and practice what  I preach... be careful what you google for, because that picture is going to give me some SERIOUS nightmares!

PS: I need to take a moment and thank the beautiful and talented Deidre, without whom this blog would not be possible... so you can blame her ;-) Check out her blog, it is what I want my blog to be when it grows up! Love the Skinny's <--CLICK IT! Go ahead... do it!