Death is breathing down my neck...

Well, my Communications text book just confirmed it... I might actually die or go insane from being single... "Happily married people also have lower incidences of pneumonia, surgery, and cancer than single people." ... "College students in committed relationships experience few mental health problems than those not in committed relationships."

So there it is in black and white (and now hot pink per my highlighter) in a book that I payed $59 to RENT... For real though, to rent?! Who do they think they are?! Haven't they ever heard of a library?! You get freaking books for free... Wait this is a rant for a totally different blog.

Point is that this is a widely used text book that's goal is to help me be a better communicator and all it's done so far is confirm what I already knew... I need to just accept that I'm going to be committed any day now... 

I'm not too concerned about it though... I'm thinking it might be kind of nice... Like a vacation, a nice padded room. Warm and cozy. Days filled with cafeteria food (which if i'm being honest I always kind of liked) and little plastic cups of different colored happiness swallowed with pride. (for real though my ability to swallow large amounts of horse pills is a point of pride for me) I'm thinking the nights will me movies, whispered conversations about the governments plan to inject us with micro-robots and going to bed early, which I'd going to be really nice I think. 

So I guess what I should be doing is thanking my teacher for waking me up to this beautiful possibility for a mere $59! So thank you communications teacher who says "ehhhhhh k" after every sentence... Your superior communication skills has changed my life for the better, I just might start singing like Kristen Chennowith (but only if you'll be Anna Kendrick!